Why hello, yes I DO still blog here…well, at least I still have access to blog here. My blogging has severely lacked since, oh the dawn of time but it is what it is. That’s not what I came here to say so, moving along…..

Today marks the last Monday my precocious toddler will spend with her toddler daycare family. No, I haven’t quit working, she’s just grown up and will be moving to the 3-5 program at her school. 3 to 5, as in, the place she will stay until she enters kindergarten…which basically to me feels like I’m sending her off to kindergarten at any moment. I don’t know where the time went (I know, everyone says that). I feel like we were JUST taking her in to the infant program for the first time, and yet here we are bidding farewell to the toddler teachers and I almost can’t fathom it.

She’s ready, she is so ready. She gets along the best with 4 year old’s and currently spends most of her time with young toddlers under the age of 2. That said, she’s also the big fish. She’s the teachers assistant, she has regular jobs, knows the routines, helps the “babies” when they are frustrated or upset, and basically rules the roost up there in toddler. A majority of the older friends she once had moved down in the August/September transition, and while I know she’s missed them greatly, she’s also enjoyed a few months of being the boss and knowing the ropes when so few of the others did. She’s advanced to say the least, but she’s still my baby and I can’t help but worry.

Transitions are always tough. She’s moving from a 4:1 ratio of kids to adults to a 6:1 ratio, and she will be with 5 year old’s. FIVE YEAR OLD’S. Like school ready children, not toddlers but CHILDREN. She has friends down there already (including her birthday twin/BFF), and spends time down there regularly, but it just seems to huge. Those kids are so big, there are far more boys, and I know some of those kids are known to be a bit of the “bully” type. Plus she’s not going to get the same amount of cuddles and attention she gets now, because there are more children who need tending to. I realize this is part of growing up, but it’s hard to totally accept.

It all has my mind racing. I am not ready to lose the last bits of baby in her, I am not ready for my toddler to become a full on kid, and I’m not ready to deal with some of the hurt feelings that will inevitably come from trying to fit in to a new childhood ecosystem.

I know it’s all normal, and that this happens. I am glad she goes to structured daycare so I’m not looking at her face on day 1 of kindergarten adding in all the stress I have about a school environment, but it’s all so much to take in. She claims to understand what’s about to happen, and to be excited. Hopefully she does and is, because it’s going to break my heart to leave the teachers and friends upstairs. I am going to feel like we’re leaving her with virtual strangers (mind you, I’ve already been through this 3 times since going back to work), and I don’t know how to reconcile that in my own brain.

However, it’s time. She’s ready to be challenged more throughout the day, to do bigger kid activities and to learn more. She’s done and seen it all in the toddler room, and even her beloved teachers tell me she’s bored (which is why she can most often be found helping the with laundry or trying to potty train the other kids). She is most often mistaken for a 3 or 4 year old, she’s got the verbal skills of a first grader and the wit and charm even some adults lack. My humble brag is that the kid is advanced, and keeping her in the toddler room (not that that’s even an option) would be more a disservice to her than anything. So it’s time.

So even if I’m not ready, she sure is:

2.75 going on 12!

Tags: Changes, New Chapters, Transitions