OH. MY. GOD. CHILD. SLEEP.
This is the sentence I mutter to myself more than anything. It’s become an obsession. I cannot stop thinking about it. I cannot stop trying to get my daughter to nap. I count the minutes from when the eyes close until they open (it’s an average of 30 mins. If we get to 45, I have a ticker tape parade
When I got pregnant I knew I was about to give up sleep for a long time. I am not stupid. I did not delude myself into thinking that I’d be getting my full nights Z’s anytime soon. In fact, I resigned myself to the fact that sleep was about to become a distant memory. And the thing is, I never used to be the type who slept much anyway, so I didn’t think it mattered. And the sleep deprivation, in isolation, is not the problem. I was prepared for it, and on it’s own I really do think I could handle it.
What I hadn’t prepared myself for is the OBSESSING I’m doing over her sleep. I’m obsessed with working on her napping. She’s the anti-napper, she fights it with every ounce of her being. It is not unusual for her to go an entire 12 hour period in which she sleeps in only small, 15 minute increments and does so only 3 times a day. That my friends totals a 45 minute nap in a 12 hour period. This does not allow for her to get very much rest, and it does not allow for me to regain my sanity. The good news is, she is rarely upset about it, the bad news is, I am.
And then there is the going to sleep, I’m obsessed with that too. Some nights, the hubs takes her upstairs with her breast milk bottle, settles in for the feed and has her passed out and in bed in less than 20 mins. But more often? He is up there for an hour, where he needs to rock and shush and sit on paci patrol. More often I hear the screaming cries of my daughter, who just does not get that it’s bedtime, and the soft pleading of my husband for her to just go to sleep. Thank gawd he has the patience for this because me? I tend to just cry along with her half the time.
Once she is finally asleep? I obsess over how long it will be before she is awake. Sometimes, it’s like 8 or 9 GLORIOUS hours. Others? It’s 2. More often it’s in the 3-4 range until the first wake up, and then every 2 hours after that.
The thing is, she messes with me. She will go 3 weeks sleeping from 930pm-4am (and she OUTRIGHT REFUSES bed before 9pm. If we start the routine at 7pm, it still takes until well after 9pm until she is asleep, so we start at 830pm.), waking once then back to sleep until 9am. Those weeks, I can take over the world. I calm down, I stop obsessing, I feel like there is progress. And then? Then she reminds me that she is the boss, and complacency will not do. She goes back to sleeping in only 2 hour stretches, to not napping, to breeding the obsession.
I know I need to let this go somehow, because the obsessing doesn’t help. I am anxious, when she does go back to sleep I can’t, because I am so worried about when she might wake again. I lay there, heart pounding, mind racing, OBSESSING. I start thinking about sleep, then dust bunnies, then bills and before you know it? She is back up. The lack of sleep is driving me to have an anxiety disorder, and it’s driving me to worry about things that are seemingly unimportant.
I’ve read the books, I’ve scoured the internet, I’ve asked friends. The thing with the books is that they are all bullshit. Their crazy voodoo magic does not work. We have a routine, we have tried to soothe her without feeding in the night, we’ve tried the white noise, the dark room, the bright room, the EVERYTHING. I find a majority of the suggestions to be asinine bullshit, which I tried LONG before I resorted to books. Honestly, I know what I need to sleep, and I’ve tried to offer her that, and it doesn’t work.
I know I am putting too much pressure on myself and on her to sleep effectively now. She’s only 4.5 months old and these things take time. I know that, but I still cannot help but obsess. I hear about these other babies, who sleep so well. I hear how they are supposed to nap this long, this often, how by this many months you can expect to have established this routine, and I look at us and think I must be failing her. No one else has ever told me it can take them on average an hour to get their baby down at night, or that they never nap more than 30 mins. I hear about how they went through a phase like that, but this? Is not a phase. Because this has been happening since about week 3 of life. I am the only person whose 3 week old baby gave up napping, and never took it up again.
So what does a borderline crazy person DO in these situations? If you’re me? you continue to obsess.
So internets, help me! I implore you to HELP ME STOP THE CRAZY! I want to believe that she will just grow out of it, that she’ll naturally grow into becoming a good sleeper, that I just need to wait it out, but I’m afraid. I’m afraid that by not doing something to help her now, I am setting her up for a life time of sleep failure. I’m afraid to be in this same position a year from now, when she is 16 months old and it is still taking an hour to get her to sleep, and she still wakes all night. I am afraid I am failing.
Sometimes I really do think ignorance is bliss. I can say without a doubt my mother did not obsess like this over me, even though I was a terribly cranky baby. If there were no books, no internet, no Twitter, I’d only have 5 friends to ask and I’d just assume this was Everly’s way and that she’d grow out of it. But I don’t. I feel like this is something I can work on, something I can fix, something I HAVE to fix. I am so lucky, so BLESSED to have a beautiful, healthy child who is completely happy and content 90% of the time, despite her not sleeping so WHY can I not just let this go? Why can I not just have the patience I need to give her the time she needs to grow into a better sleeper. Why.
Am I completely insane?
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
Darlin – you said it yourself already. This is just her way. You will both come thru this, relatively unscathed and you will move onto something else to worry about.
I know – I am the obsessing Mom too!!!
HUGS
FlygirlWS´s last [type] ..Learning to accept…
[Reply]
Babe_Chilla Reply:
August 6th, 2010 at 11:53 am
It’s true, I will just trade this obsession for another one LOL. Probably eating related, that seems a popular one!
[Reply]
i totally get this. i was the same way. sleep patterns STILL stress me out, two years later.
i know the books are overwhelming. At her age you can start sleep training (controversial i know!!) but that is what saved my life. We “taught” our son to self soothe and put himself to sleep without all the bouncing, swaying, rocking, etc. I know there are lots of mommy debates, but if you feel you are going insane? It is worth it. You NEED a break. The book we used was Solve your Child’s Sleep Problems by Dr. Ferber. Email me if you want more info/how it worked for us.
hugs!
Grace @ Arms Wide Open´s last [type] ..a hellish week
[Reply]
Babe_Chilla Reply:
August 6th, 2010 at 11:54 am
Thanks! My bestie did this too and swears by it.
[Reply]
Ashley C Reply:
August 13th, 2010 at 11:20 am
I also swear by this book. I highly suggest trying it for at least a week, you can’t do it for just a couple days, you have to commit; that was the hardest part for my hubs and I. Both my kids? They sleep now. Not always perfectly, not as long as I’d like, but they sleep.
[Reply]
Because sleep is a dirty bitch and makes you crazy.
It’s not just you, momma. I was the same way when C wouldn’t nap and bedtime was always WW III. Eventually it came to letting her cry it out. She was closer to 5.5 months until I actually did it and probably 6 or 6.5 months until it really worked consistently, so I don’t know if it was the letting her cry (I’d go back in every 7-10 minutes and soothe her) or if she just grew into it.
But don’t feel bad about obsessing…. I was the same way. Afraid that if I didn’t FIX IT RIGHT NOW, she’d be four years old and I’d be rocking her to sleep.
She still cries once in a while when I lay her down for a nap, but it’s only for a few minutes. Then she plays and then she falls alseep. It’s so much better than where we were when she was Everly’s age.
All that said, if you’re not comfortable letting her cry, don’t. It’s OK. She’ll be OK. You’ll be OK. I only got that point because she would cry wether I held her or not, so I was ready to try it because holding a screaming baby all day was miserable for both of us.
Krista @ Not Mommy of the Year´s last [type] ..Tea Pot Dance
[Reply]
Babe_Chilla Reply:
August 6th, 2010 at 1:26 pm
Thanks! I agree, sleep is a dirty bitch. And I am happy to be reassured that this won’t be this way when she is 4. It just seems like something that needs to be fixed, right?And it’s hard to not be able to. I am the fix it type!
[Reply]
One thing I totally agree with is that all the books are useless. There are a lot of ‘sleep experts’ making a lot of money out of us being obsessed. I am sorry I don’t have any miracle answers either. Things do get better though – she is only 4 months. Stick to the routine, don’t talk to her during the night and keep interaction to a minimum. Good luck!
Motherfunster´s last [type] ..Playtime
[Reply]
Babe_Chilla Reply:
August 6th, 2010 at 1:26 pm
Seriously the books? Just infuriate me.
[Reply]
I think it’s just the way your baby is. My 4 younger siblings were ALL like that. No naps, late (like midnight) bedtime, early rising, several wakings. But they have grown into sleep. The oldest of them is eight and he went through a phase where he slept till 10 am every morning! Just because it’s going on now doesn’t mean it always will. And I think she’s much more likely to grow into a healthy sleeper if she’s allowed to grow into it in her own time. Most likely she’s just like her mama and isn’t big on sleep.
Now, the fact that it’s a biggie for HER doesn’t mean it’s not a biggie for YOU. So whatever works to help you get your shuteye, you should try. Maybe trading off with hubby — can he give an early morning bottle so you can sleep in a little? On weekends my husband will sometimes take Marko after his morning nurse (around 6 am) and play with him in the living room while I catch another hour. It’s HEAVEN.
Then there’s cosleeping, which I told you earlier today doesn’t work for me, and then I just took an hour-and-a-half nap in bed with Marko. He normally only naps for 45 minutes, so it was a real WIN for me. Some people can do it, some can’t, but most moms of non-sleepers swear by it. It’s the only way to have a baby who sleeps in short spurts or nurses all night and not be a zombie in the morning.
Sheila´s last [type] ..A year ago today
[Reply]
Babe_Chilla Reply:
August 6th, 2010 at 1:21 pm
I pull her into bed with me about 730am (or when she’s up around then) and nurse. She will often sleep until 930am or 10am with me or her dad. It DOES help for me to get that extra sleep or get up and have some me time. I know I am lucky she will go back to sleep with us until that time, but I just wish getting her to sleep was a bit easier.
[Reply]
I’m battling the sleep monster these days too. We weaned the swaddle COLD TURKEY. In the swaddle she had to be nursed to sleep. That used to be quick. It was starting to take an hour or two to get her down. So we ditched it and let her fall asleep on her own. She cried. It wasn’t full on CIO, I rescued her when my mama instincts wouldn’t let me listen anymore. Sleep deprivation is a nasty bitch and a dirty whore. There is a reason why they use it as a form of torture.
I started all out bawling last night when B woke at 10:30, she goes to bed at 7:30 which I can only attribute to day care, she’s worn out from playing all day. Honestly day care is the only thing that has helped with her sleep. Not that that is something you need to do, but it helped us. But as I was bawling the husband starts telling me how she can’t help it, I wanted to sock him…because I know it’s true. But logic? At that moment? No effing way.
I promise you won ‘t be rocking her to sleep forever. It sounds like this is just her “way” (not that it helps). I can only offer my support from the frontlines.
Eileen @ Bringing Up Bronwyn´s last [type] ..It’s Krust!
[Reply]
Babe_Chilla Reply:
August 6th, 2010 at 1:18 pm
OH THE LOGIC! I get the “she isn’t doing it on purpose” which I KNOW but at that moment, I cannot help it. Sigh. And yes, I cry when she doesn’t sleep and he? Thinks I’m crazy because he is getting sleep and not feeling this way.
It’s ok if it’s her way for now, but long term there has to be something better, right?
After 6 months old, I might try modified CIO. As it stands now, hubs sits beside her and let’s her cry sometimes, but he’s there, rocking her and putting her paci back in her mouth. She’s not alone.
[Reply]
I totally can relate! My son is six months old and has just started sleeping in 4-5 hour stretches. He is still up twice at night to eat. Up until about 4.5 months old, he was waking every two hours, ALL NIGHT. I was, too, a crazy lady. I would lay and just wait for him to cry…talk about anxiety. A lot of mine came from my PPD, but it was made worse by his horrible sleeping habits. I just now got him to take two decents naps during the day also. Give her time..I thought mine would NEVER sleep. Now, I just can wait for those 8-9 hours you talked about that happen sporadically! He’s NEVER done that! I wish I had some book that you could read that made it all better..but I don’t. I think he just has to do it all in his own good time. (he threw fits at bedtime too, till about a month ago) You’re not alone!
[Reply]
Babe_Chilla Reply:
August 6th, 2010 at 2:13 pm
Misery really loves company, I am glad to know I am not alone sometimes!
[Reply]
I’ve been there. Oh I’ve so been there. I even wrote a blog post about it back in January. http://hothotjj.blogspot.com/2010/01/i-loathe-myself.html
I would OBSESS about sleep. I would read all the books, message boards, blogs, etc and many times they would send me into a full blown panic attack. Like reading what a baby “should” be doing would send me over the edge.
But after talking to my doc (and getting on Zoloft) and keep working at it, things have gotten TONS better. I never did CIO, but it is an option. Something that FINALLY got naps going smoother was swaddling, yes, still at 4.5 months. My baby would.not.sleep. without the swaddle, and at nap time this was also true.
I know how it feels to not be able to finally sleep when your baby is sleeping. Because you’re obsessing about them waking up again. I finally had to sleep in a room away from the baby monitor, with ear plugs, and have my husband ring me when the baby was awake and ready to be fed. Otherwise I couldn’t sleep.
You will find your rythum. As will Everyly. I found my baby slept the worst at 4.5 months, but by 6.5 months it was almost all better. Now at 8 months he’s awesome at sleeping. No, it’s not because I’m doing anything different, it’s because he had some growing up to do.
Also, some babies don’t nap. Yes it sucks, and yes the books don’t talk about that, but if you just accept it as that’s your kid, you might breathe easier.
Good luck.
Jessica´s last [type] ..Messy babe
[Reply]
Babe_Chilla Reply:
August 6th, 2010 at 2:12 pm
THANK YOU! I remember the pediatrician said that as long as she’s getting sleep through the night, then naps don’t matter as much but everything else I’ve read or heard is completely against that.
I need to learn to let go. I am hoping she will grow into a better sleep pattern, as I am not really willing to do CIO unless it is an absolute must.
Unfortunately, she HATES the swaddle. She grunts, cried and struggles until she is free…a free, sweaty, crying mess lol.
[Reply]
Nolan went through a stage where he would only sleep in my arms, in bed with me.
I dunno, for us..it just “corrected” itself. Like, he got older, and it clicked. He sleeps.
Hopefully that happens soon for you love xoxo
jess; [the bottle chronicles]´s last [type] ..Recipe- Yummy Tomato Mushroom Beef Pasta Casserole
[Reply]
Been following your blog for the last couple of weeks…my daughter is now 8 months, but your daughter sounds just like mine was still at 4.5 months. I was totally obsessed with sleep, and I actually still wake up thinking I hear her crying. It’s a terrible feeling! My daughter didn’t nap. Period. She would wake up every two hours at best at night, up until like 6 months. We had kind of a breakthrough, which began with cry it out, which I absolutely hated and quit after a week. However, it did teach her how to get herself to sleep and not wake up as soon as she hit the mattress. Now? There’s no sleep training or method really. i get up when she needs something, but I am not following any books or anything. I really think she just grew out of it honestly, and I stopped obsessing so much, which made her less tense and able to get back to sleep quickly at night. She’s still not sleeping “through the night”, but getting up once or twice is doable. Just follow your instincts and know it won’t be forever!
[Reply]
Babe_Chilla Reply:
August 8th, 2010 at 10:48 am
Ya I wonder how often these “sleep methods” simply work because the babies are the right age to start sleeping better. I am going to try to stop obsessing AND re-evaluate at 6 months id I need to.
But the no napping? Jeebus that is so hard! I get nothing done!
And I agree, 1-2 times per night? I can live. 3-4? Mama get’s coocoo!
[Reply]
My oldest was the worst sleeper. You said you sometimes get long stretches of sleep, we never even got those. It was 2 hour stretches, right up until he was 18 months old. He just REALLY liked to eat, all night long, at the milk bar.
I did try CIO, out of desperation. It didn’t work for us at all, and just upset my child. in the end, we did gentle night weaning by having DH go into him instead of me and sitting with him. In a week or 2, he was sleeping right through the night. At 6 years old now he sleeps a solid 12 hours and puts himself to sleep. We didn’t do any rigid sleep training, no controlled crying.
Claire´s last [type] ..Formula company website giving misinformation to breastfeeding mothers
[Reply]
Babe_Chilla Reply:
August 8th, 2010 at 10:46 am
I think once we move her to her room, having the hubs go in and help her to sleep will work better. I’m just not quite ready for that yet
[Reply]
Hey Brandi,
Ryland is the exact same way with his naps and has been so since about 3 weeks old aswell and than through in a 3 yearold who has gave up naps 6 months ago it makes for a very sleep deprived house. So now I am on day 3 of sleep training Ryland, I was concerned he was too young to sleep train as Marley was almost 8 months old before I had to sleep train her (at night only she napped great) but after consulting with my public health nurse she said for everyones sanity it needs to be done now. So my advice to you is to sleep train poor little Everly, it’s going to be hard and especially if your sensitive to her crying its going to be 10 times harder but it works by day 4 of consistent sleep training it will work. It’s one of the hardest things you’ll have to do so far as a parent but like my nurse said for everyones sanity it needs to be done. If you want any tips on sleep training just send me a message on FB. Good Luck
[Reply]
We are soul sisters.
I just found your blog and honestly, I could’ve written this myself.
We’ve been having what is now known as “The Sleep Wars” at my house. My sweet girl is 9 months old and is still napping in my arms because I cannot handle the crying.
After weeks of her screaming for HOURS on end at night she’s finally given in to sleeping from 9p-6a, but it wasn’t an easy road. Plus, we’re only on Day 4, so I shouldn’t get cocky about it.
But never fear, I can’t sleep because I’m OBSESSED with watching her on the video monitor.
I have a problem.
All this to say, you are not alone.
[Reply]
Babe_Chilla Reply:
August 8th, 2010 at 10:45 am
Oh the video monitor. I both love and loathe that thing!
[Reply]
My first never slept more than 45 mins – 2 hours at a time. Truly. It drove me crazy. But what was worse was her constant crying all day long. So long as she was nursing we were fine. And she did nap. About 1 1/2 hours at a time. Then her sister came along and wouldn’t nap at all but slept 3-4 hours through the night. I counted my blessings. ong story short: It could be worse.
Melodie´s last [type] ..Vegetarian Foodie Fridays- Summer Fruit Tarts
[Reply]
Babe_Chilla Reply:
August 8th, 2010 at 10:44 am
Oh no! I can’t believe you ever did it again after that!
[Reply]
It should tell you something that I found this blog when I Googled “stop obsessing about your baby’s sleep.” I have a four month old for whom bedtime is, yes, WWIII, and her naps are just babbling mess. I SWEAR that she stifles yawns so as not to give me any impression she’s tired and I’m pretty sure she’d prop her eyes open with little clothespins if she could. I, too, have been so afraid that I don’t fix it this second she will never sleep through the night like all the other angelic children I hear about. My mother and a few other people have told me that those people who tell you their kid takes great naps and slept through the night without a problem are lying. I agree. It makes me feel better (I say as I hear my husband battling it out with the little devil child now.) So anyway, take heart. You’re not alone.
[Reply]
Babe_Chilla Reply:
August 8th, 2010 at 11:02 pm
I’m glad I’m not alone, but I wish it was easier for all of us.
I too like to believe that people? They are lying. LIARS.
[Reply]
If you weren’t obsessing over sleep, you’d be obsessing over something else. For instance, I constantly obsess over whether or not the little dude is getting enough to eat. I’m completely hung up on it. But for better or for worse, I employ the same strategy I did with my pregnancy — just say no to Google. It’ll make you crazy!!
I wish I had some advice for you over how to be more zen about the whole thing, but unfortunately, all I can suggest is beer. And wine. Beer and wine are gifts. Just one and I instantly relax. So if all else fails, DRINK.
Jess @ Bringing Up Baby´s last [type] ..All Systems Go
[Reply]
Babe_Chilla Reply:
August 9th, 2010 at 6:03 pm
Mmmmm drinking lol.
I used to obsess over eating, but I’m passed that!
[Reply]
You are NOT crazy ! I went through the same thing this past year. My second son was horrible in the sleep department. By the time he was 9 months, he was still waking maybe once a night to nurse, but he’d go right back down. When he was 4.5 months he was probably at his worst.
The only advice I have to offer is this (and it’s not much). What helped me a little bit was to try not to look at the clock in the middle of the night. When I looked at the clock every time he woke up, it made it worse. I’d obsess about how many times he got up, how long he was up, and how much sleep I didn’t get. I eventually would just try to stumble through feeding him half asleep. Easier said than done though.
I eventually resorted to CIO. It was not easy, but it ended up working for us. Hang in there !! She will sleep eventually and you will too !!
Erin´s last [type] ..First birthday party- again
[Reply]
Babe_Chilla Reply:
August 10th, 2010 at 1:14 pm
Once I can totally take. It’s when we get up to 3 or 4 that I have a problem. Sigh.
I do think I need to stop looking at the clock. I need to stop being like “she’s only slept X hours before she woke up” because that is what make me angry. It’s fine to get her back to sleep, but staying there? Is a bigger issue. And then I get so worked up that even when she is sleeping, I am not. sigh.
[Reply]
Erin Reply:
August 10th, 2010 at 2:50 pm
I completely understand. Not looking at the clock was the only thing that started to make it more bearable. I was getting so upset in the middle of the night thinking about how he only slept for an hour before waking up again, it made it so much worse. Try not to let your mind get going too much when you’re up. Just stumble through it w/out looking a the clock or thinking about it so much. I know..easier said than done. Good luck. I hope you get some rest soon !!
Erin´s last [type] ..First birthday party- again
[Reply]
How old is Everly? I totally know what you’re going through with the non-napping. Ari (my son who is now two) was a non-napper. Too. I went crazy and was obsessive about getting him to sleep too. Frankly, I needed the sleep as much as he did. I chose to do sleep training with him. And that totally worked! Email me! I can explain how to do it. He slept from 7:30pm to 7am every night.
Old School/ New School Mom´s last [type] ..Internet Mom Dating
[Reply]
Babe_Chilla Reply:
August 10th, 2010 at 1:12 pm
Thanks! I will
[Reply]
Have you tried letting her sleep on her stomach? That totally worked for us. I know it may not be popular, but I feel totally safe with her that way because she sleeps in the room with us, and we breast fed, those things reduce the risk of sids, so what if you are doing one thing that is a risk. If she is in the room with you, then even in her sleep I feel she can “hear” you breathing which keeps her breathing. My baby has been sleeping on her stomach since about 4 weeks and she is now 4 months old. Also are you breast feeding exclusively? That is definitely the best way to go, but I know when we started combination feeding (breast and formula) she also started to sleep more. That may not be a step you are willing to take, but just an idea.
Good luck!
[Reply]
Babe_Chilla Reply:
August 11th, 2010 at 1:05 pm
I’ve never thought of that. And yes, we are breastfeeding exclusively. She isn’t a huge fan of her stomach mostly though? We could give it a shot perhaps ha.
[Reply]
Sheila Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 5:17 am
Huh, I hadn’t thought to mention it to you, but I do the same. Not sure she’d take to it if she’s not a tummy fan, but it does help babies sleep more soundly.
Sheila´s last [type] ..Help!
[Reply]
I could have written this post.
I was a crazy woman for the first 9 months of my son’s life. I didn’t leave the house because he *might* nap, and if he was going to fall asleep I needed to not be in the car. Seriously – pretty much never left the house. Which made me all the crazier.
And nights? Eff that. He didn’t sleep for more than 3 hours at a stretch until he was 5 months old. And at 5 months? He started sleeping only 1-2 hours at a time. IT GOT WORSE. In direct defiance of everything I read, his sleeping did not get better.
I was obsessed, I was insane, I was angry, and frustrated, and spent more than one night crying with him.
Was he teething? Hungry? Hot? Cold? Sick? The list of reasons he might be waking was endless. I gave up trying to get him to nap. Nothing got done around the house, but it was the only way I was able to remain kind of sane. We tried a bottle of formula before bedtime because *everyone* told me he was hungry and formula would help him sleep. It didn’t make one damn bit of difference, except to make me angry that I had listened to that idea.
It’s only been in the last 2 weeks (he’s 11 months) that he’s started to sleep more than 4 hours at a stretch. And it came down to a little sleep training. We waited until he was older (10.5 months) because I wanted to feel like he was capable of understanding that it was bedtime, and not just be completely bewildered that he wasn’t getting what he wanted.
Ugh. I hope you’re able to find a way to keep sane through it all. There isn’t a single person who can give you a solution, but it sounds like there’s lots of people telling you that you’re not alone.
TMae´s last [type] ..What’s for dinner
[Reply]
Babe_Chilla Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 9:44 pm
I feel you far too much. I am always racing home, talking to her in the car, trying for once to keep her awake so that I can hopefully put her to sleep when I get home. I’ve heard the formula idea and have considered it many times – but I really don’t think it’s going to work.
And she does get worse. And what is it? Are we having 2 of those 4 month sleep regressions? Is it development? Teething? Too hot? Does she just hate me.
At the end of it? I think she just isn’t a good sleeper. Neither her dad or I are, so it seems logical she might not be.
It helps to know I’m not alone, even if I don’t wish this struggle on anyone!
[Reply]
hey B…
thanks for sharing the blog. i totally remember this…don’t want to share too much because i remember that everyone’s advice at the time seemed like bragging, nagging, or wagging their finger that i wasn’t doing it right. i was a zombie for about 7 months when my kiddo didn’t sleep. her eczema and cradlecap was a lot to blame tho. i have my old blog here if you want to commiserate
hope it gets better.
http://promqueen.org/blog/archive/2005_12_01_archive.html
[Reply]
I had a horrible time with our first one. He HATED going to bed. Naptime, bed time, was always a fight. I tried CIO, but he would just cry harder and get more inconsolable after 1-2 hours of CIO. So I stopped trying until he was like 6 months old and then it finally started to work. But he still always had a very hard time going to sleep at night untill he was 2.5 and since then he is pretty easy… so it does get better.
In the mean time I would just nurse him to sleep, lay him down and stay next to the crib till his eyes closed and then I’d quietly crawl on hands and knees out of the room. If I hit any kind of creek in the floor, his little eyes would fly open and the crying would begin again! lol
Our second was better at going to bed, but he would wake up several times a night to nurse.
Our 3rd I decided to not even fight it and just let him co-sleep longer and I just nurse him to sleep if he is having issues, but he does fall asleep on his own at times too.(we only have 2 bedrooms anyway, so it would be too hard to put him in with his brothers)
He’s 11 months now and he has started sleeping longer periods. I’m so much more relaxed about the whole sleep thing this time around and I’m not going to worry about Needing to get him to sleep on his own yet. They will eventually anyway. I think that is something we stress too much about as young mothers/first time mothers. It’s just not worth it. I really believe by the time Baby is 1.5 he will be sleeping just fine , in his own bed and I won’t have guilt about making him cry for hours when he was younger.
I’m not against crying it out, but I just think that it’s easier if you wait till they are older and understand a bit more.
So my point is, that if the hubs is ok with it, maybe try nursing her in bed and just let her sleep with you. It would be better than going nuts obsessing about sleep, if it works!
The Mom Venture Blogs´s last [type] ..Unforgiveable Sin-Forgetting the Camera…
[Reply]