As IF you have not all heard me talking about sleep enough right? Well too bad. It is CONSUMING my life and this is my blog, so I am going to keep talking.
I thought I’d lay out Everly’s OLD, completely acceptable sleep pattern for you all, and then I’d lay out what it’s looked like the last week. Maybe you have some insight. Maybe you don’t, but it’s worth a shot right?
Ok, so from about 6 weeks to about, oh I’d say 16 weeks, Everly’s night time sleep looked like this:
7:45-8:30pm – bedtime routine of PJs (which USED to be a peaceful experience), songs, snuggles and sometimes a bath.
8:30-9:00pm – head upstairs for a bottle with daddy. Eat said bottle, have snuggles, then be rocked in the bassinet until passed out. This could easily take upwards of an hour, and often involved a shit ton of screaming.
10:00pm-ish – 3:00am-ish – sound, blissful sleeping….ahhhhhh
3:00am-ish (really this could happen anytime from 2-4am) – up for a quick feed. Back in bed in less than 15 minutes, awake. Left to drift back to sleep on her own. (99.98% of the time, this was a total non-issue)
5:00am-ish – 6:00am-ish – sometimes a second wake-up, and totally dependant on how late the first wake-up was. Again, quick feed, back in bed to drift off alone.
8:00am-ish – up again. Into mommy’s bed for snuggles and snacks and mommy’s selfish need for another hour of sleep if possible (also trying to get her to sleep a full 12 hour period).
Now, at this point naps were a complete crap-shoot. Sometimes, I’d get 3 awesome ones, and sometimes? She’d stay up for 12+ hours at a time. Most days, there was some sort of catnap combination, taken at the breast or in the bassinet, totaling about 2 hours in a full day. I would spend an hour to get her to sleep on many occasions, and then 20 mins later (well usually 18) she would be up.
That was then, and this my friend? Is now (well, it WAS worse but this is the last few days, and a marked improvement over the every 45 minute waking):
*Last night I timed everything for research sake, so I can use actuals 
7:15pm – 7:45pm – Bedtime Routine. Into nighttime diaper, baby massage and change into PJs while mommy sings a song. Book with daddy. Upstairs for a bottle.
7:45 – 8:00pm – downs 6 oz. of breastmilk
8:00pm – 8:30pm – lays on bed with daddy; falls asleep.
8:45pm – Transfer to playpen; she wakes up but falls back asleep in there after 10 mins of kicking around.
10:28pm – Awake. Very upset. Sucking my shoulder, chewing her fingers. Crying. Tylenol and bfing (totally for comfort) back to sleep.
11:15pm – Bounced, burped and laid back in playpen awake. Seahorse on. Falls asleep.
11:30pm – Mommy goes to bed
12:45am – Awake briefly, sea horse back on, fell back asleep.
1:15am – Awake. Left 3 minutes to settle, got more upset. Picked up, bounced, calmed and laid down awake. Fell asleep.
2:15am – Awake, frantic. Night feed. Placed in play pen awake.
5:30am – Awake. Feed. Back in playpen.
7:00am – Awake. Soother back to sleep.
7:25am – Awake. in bed with mommy and daddy. Sleep.
9:00am – Up for the day.
So ya. It was long. And I know you are all going to say a few things, so I’ll address them now lol.
One, we are working on getting her bedtime earlier. She likes to go to bed at about 9:30pm but we’ve been slowly moving it earlier. We are aiming for about 8:00pm because the hubs doesn’t even get home until 7:30pm most times.
Two, we are working on getting her into her own room. It’s just that it is downstairs and we are trying to get used to the idea. The plan is to move her after labour day.
Three, I know that the co-sleeping might be messing her up in the mornings, but I like to try to get her to sleep a full 12 hour period, even if she wasn’t sleeping the whole time. I’ve tried to get her up around 7:00am and then she is just a fussy angry baby until she has a nap. So the co-sleeping gets us that extra time. Besides, it’s nice.
Four, naps. They are done however we can around here. Usually it’s a nap around 11:00am, that is almost always in the swing. We’re in survival mode people. Then the afternoon nap is usually in the stroller around 2:00pm. The later afternoon nap is either with me or in the swing again around 4:30pm. If she naps in her playpen or crib, they will only last 20 mins. It can take me 45 to put her down, and she’ll sleep 18. If she’s on the move, she’ll drift away.
So there you have it. That is how my kid sleeps. I am starting to just get used to it, and it’s not even that bad anymore. The anxiety about it is going away. We’re considering a sleep training plan that does NOT include CIO (but of course includes some crying). Or, it’ll magically get better on it’s own again, which is what I’ve been hoping for far too long.
Thoughts? Feelings? Suggestions?
*I reserve the right to ignore your suggestion lol
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
My suggestion? Hang in there baby.
My lil one (who will be 3 in March) was THE EXACT SAME WAY. I realized early on that this little girl was not one to miss out on ANYTHING. We did the same thing you do…in her own room with a mix of co-sleeping in the AM for me. It was really difficult to get her on a schedule. And it is STILL difficult to get her on and keep her on a schedule. However, considering recent events, she is probably waking up more often because of teething. With Abbi, the teething started at around 2 and a 1/2 months and went until…well…still happens a bit. The teething seemed to give her heartburn and definitely made her very irritable and very unhappy about naps. So my advice is just to make the best of it and sleep when you can! Eventually she’ll even out a bit but chances are, you’ll never ever get back to sleeping like you once did. Not at all.
Mrs. Graves´s last [type] ..Time To Purge
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I have exactly one suggestion: do whatever works. However you all are sleeping the most, do that. She isn’t learning bad habits if she sleeps in the swing or in your room or wherever. She’ll learn to sleep in her own room, even if you don’t help her do that until later.
You’re doing great; this part is hard for almost everyone! Do what works and to hell with the rest.
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I don’t have much advice but I do want to tell you that you do not have to justify yourself to anyone…. in regards to the co-sleeping, naps in the swing, whatever. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to apologize for the way you do things- there is no hard fast rule that says babies have to go to bed at 7. Lots of families have parents that work later and their kids are on a later schedule. Totally normal.
much love!!!
Joanna´s last [type] ..I’m participating in an extravaganza
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Frankly, I think a lot of people make a big deal out of something that is totally normal. She will eventually sleep through the night. What you’re describing is typical infant behaviour. The best way to deal with it is just to accept it, be sleep deprived, sleep when you can, and wait it out. There is no magic solution. Some kids start sleeping well at a few months, others before a year, some rare others a few years in.
1001petals´s last [type] ..Easy Chickpea Salad
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I have been following your painful sleep journey on twitter and had been meaning to ask you a few questions. First off, I am sorry you aren’t getting sleep and it’s so stressful! You have every right to feel the way you do and obviously lack of sleep for everyone probably magnifies the problem. This is what helped us when books and Doctor’s advice failed…
I have been meaning to ask you if she has any intolerance’s to food you may be eating, reflux, etc? My son has a dairy/soy intolerance so when he was getting dairy formula he cried almost constantly and it was worse when laying down despite reflux meds. Eliminating them…after a few weeks he was a whole different kid. Still today, he can’t have dairy/soy so it wasn’t just “colic”.
Also, could be teeth because my son was up several times a night when he was hardcore teething. Their ears can hurt when teething and laying down seemed to magnify that. This lasted from month 4 to about a year for us because he got his teeth in 4′s. Also if he was learning a new skill (sitting up, standing, walking) his sleep would get messed up.
Does she seem like she is getting restful sleep or is she restless when she is actually sleeping? I know for us, if my son didn’t get proper naps during the day he wouldn’t/still won’t sleep well at night. If he is over tired he won’t sleep well at night. Routines are very important for my son, as in nap around the same time every day in his bed.
Is her bed comfortable enough? Is it dark enough, too dark? Hot or cold? We also play music (Celine Dion cd she wrote for her son) every night and nap and he LOVES it, that helped us a ton! We started when he was a few months old and still doing it 3 years later.
We never did CIO exactly, we let him fuss for a bit and if it turned into full on crying we would get him. Usually he was hungry or his tummy hurt and needed to burp and then he was fine. He always liked his own room and his own bed so maybe she will too? Also, does your husband help with the night time wake ups? The only reason I ask is b/c if you are doing it and she smells your milk is she just comfort nursing? Not saying it’s true for every baby but it my experience he never cried in the middle of the night unless he really needed something. Meaning, he wasn’t getting up just out of habit. You have to go with your instinct on this. If you feel like she is doing this out of habit then I would suggest following a sleep routine or talking to her Doctor.
Hope things start to get better for you soon!
Jamaica
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SUGGESTION:
1. Pump.
2. Ask brave grandma to take baby for ONE night. (you can do it).
3. SLEEEEEEEP your little pancreas out.
4. Pick baby up, a happy, rested momma.
You need a break.
And that’s NORMAL.
Michelle´s last [type] ..Wordless Wednesday- I think I can I think I can
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P.S.
AAAAAAA(i see ur still holding out on trying formula)CCCHHHOOOO!
Michelle´s last [type] ..Wordless Wednesday- I think I can I think I can
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the only thing that i can think to ask or suggest (besides things i’ve already talked to you about via twitter) is this..is a 12 hour night sleep that crucial? i mean, i know it is because the doctors and everyone advise it and it sure would be nice for us as parents but maybe its too much sleep for everly? maybe stick with whatever bedtime works for you guys, deal with the night time wakings until they hopefully fix themselves and then when she gets up at 7, get up with her for the day. you’ll be exhausted but maybe so will she. and then naptimes in the day will be longer and easier. orrrr she’ll still fight naps and you’ll still be tired. idk :/
alissa´s last [type] ..hot summer days
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I agree with Joanna, you do NOT have to justify anything you do in regards to how you want to deal with your child’s sleeping issues. I am total anti-CIO and some people might disagree with me and tell me how it’s the only thing that will work, but I don’t like it, so I don’t do it. We eventually dropped one of the babe’s naps and it really helped him. He still gets up anywhere from 4-6AM for a quick nursing and then he is back to sleep. I just don’t think my child requires that much sleep. Anyway, do whatever works for you (I know that isn’t much advice) but eventually Everly will tell you what she needs from you.
Nikki´s last [type] ..Finding Balance In Life
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We went through something similar from 12 weeks until almost 8 months. Then one night he just slept through, and then did it again… not every night is like that but now at almost 10 months we have more good night then bad ones. (Often down at 7:30 pm up at 6:30 am)
My only suggestion is that I noticed you are putting her in a playpen. Can you feel the mental bar? I don’t know if you have a crib but when we moved our baby from the bassinet to the playpen to keep him in our room he woke up IMMEDIATELY upon being put down. He’s a lot better in his crib.
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My suggestion is the same as Alissa’s. Try getting up with her around 7am. I think with Abby when she was around Everly’s age I stopped putting her back down and letting her sleep until 9 or so. That way, perhaps a nap routine will develop and then night time might be better. And if this happens, then maybe you get more sleep and won’t mind getting up at 7am. And Abby who is almost 10 months old, hardly ever gets a whole 12 hours. She’s usually at 10.5-11 hours. She goes down at 8pm (we start night time routine at 7:30) and sleeps till 6:30-7…well after some sleep training that is. (part of sleep training we did was moving her bedtime back b/c we had her getting down at 9pm and would start bed time when Abby was yawning and wiping her eyes. Now we don’t wait till she’s exhausted and when we put her down awake and starting to get tired she grabs her blanket, rolls onto her side, and goes to sleep on her own.)
But remember all babies are different. Do what works best for you and the family. You could make one small little change and BAM other things fall into place.
Crossing my fingers for you.
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We had this same exact issue, and I finally figured out the cause(s).
1) Food intolerance/Weak Immune system was making her so uncomfortable at night, she work every 45 minutes. Eliminated dairy and wheat proteins…sleeps nearly identical to your first sleep schedule. WOW
2) She had ear infections that we didn’t recognize b’c there was no fever or other signs.
I figured all of this out by holding her sitting up just to sleep. She was able to sleep so I realized it had to do with laying down…
Good luck and God bless!
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I have absolutely no suggestions… except – as someone said earlier – do whatever works for you!
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First, like the the other posters said – don’t worry what people will think. Survival is the key right now. In fact, that’s all that matters.
Second, like Jamaica, my first thought on hearing that schedule was “teething.” My daughter acted similarly on and off, and that’s what the doctor said it most likely was.
But I have no real advice. Only sympathy.
amber´s last [type] ..If I Had a Million Dollars…
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